Categories
humor Uncategorized

Open Book Blog Hop: May 11

Twenty-six letters and many possibilities (to go off-topic)

We know a lot of words. I think I read that children can learn upwards of 500 words or more a month when they are in elementary school. This is based on the the fact that by age twelve, the average child should be able to understand about 50,000 words.

That’s a lot of words.

Words change and evolve, appear and disappear, fall out of favor, or become that word that everybody uses until we are all tired of it.

When we listen to someone talk to us, do we hear spaces between the words, just like we see the spaces in a printed line of text? If you pay attention to a speaker, you will realize that there are very few breaks between words. When does one word end and the other begin? That’s for our brain to interpret. Was that a compound word or two separate ones? Listen to a different language being spoken and see if you can hear any breaks.

I decided to dictate what I had just written. I tied to speak fairly quickly. Here is what I got:

we all know a lot of words I think I read that children can learn upwards of 500 words or more a month when they’re in elementary school this is based on the fact that by the age of 12 the average child should be able to understand about five 50,000 words that’s a lot of words words change and evolve appear and disappear fall out of favor or become that word that everyone uses until we’re tired of it when we listen to somebody talk to us do we hear the spaces between the words just like we see the spaces on a printed line of text you pay attention to a speaker you realize that there are very few breaks between the words when does one word end and the other begins As for our brain to interpret was at a compound word or two separate ones listen to a different language mean spoken and see if you can hear any breaks

Other than punctuation, I have to admit it is accurate. Then I noticed that there is a language filter, so being a funny guy, I thought it would be humorous to see what would happen if the computer thought I was speaking a different language. Each time, it gave up after a few sentences (I probably won’t get back on topic…).

French : Oui no – Yeah, that’s all it did.

German: Vino Worms – Wine worms?

Italian: Vino allora words – Wine, then words.  Now that makes sense.

Spanish: Quemar aumentar School eso es bastante factor de abertzales Biblia – Burning increase School that’s pretty bible shed factor. That’s bizzare but it hung in there longer.

Chinese: Wind Word accessories The Children – Sounds like a proverb.

Finnish: Schengenin grande superfood ferber terve new century – OK, now it’s just tossing in whatever, although I heard that Finnish was difficult (the language, not the people. They’re lovely.)

Back to the the topic. Whatever it was…

-Leon

Want to play along? Do add a comment if you like, or you can even link your own blog to this one by clicking the blue button below.

Rules:

  1. Link your blog to this hop.
  2. Notify your following that you are participating in this blog hop.
  3. Promise to visit/leave a comment on all participants’ blogs.
  4. Tweet/or share each person’s blog post. Use #OpenBook when tweeting.
  5. Put a banner on your blog that you are participating.
  6. https://fresh.inlinkz.com/p/d2fe7b5a64dd45ee99c2b6e275b9de74

Leon Stevens is a blogger, composer, artist, and an author of three books (so far): Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures, Journeys: Eight Original Pieces for Classical Guitar and The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories.

Categories
humor

Second Chance Sunday: May 9

How do I choose the second chancers? Small number of views, mostly. Posts that may have been lost in the feed that I think are worthy. Sometimes, I’ll read a post and revise it slightly or fix broken links.

This is one of my earlier posts when I was developing my writing voice. I still am, I don’t think we ever stop, do we? You’re right, we shouldn’t.

Reading: Paper or eBook – On my other blog it was easier to insert poll questions, so I tried it here.

Dredged Up from the Past

Some of my posts from my old blog didn’t make the trip over. Until now: From May 2020, two months in:

Things that I regret watching:

  1. The Dead Don’t Die: Bill Murray, Adam Driver, Selena Gomez, Tilda Swinton, Iggy Pop. What could go wrong? It’s a parody of Zombie films that unfortunately misses the head shot. There are a few chuckles scattered throughout, but not enough to give it any stars. Watch Zombieland instead and give this one a double-tap ( Ha! Get it? 😊 )
  • Avenue 5: Compared to such space comedies such as: Red Dwarf and The Orville, well you can’t compare it. It falls flat right from the start. I couldn’t even watch the whole first episode, but I went back and forced myself to give it a chance. Now 4 episodes in, I’m committed, or I should be committed. Why am I still watching? For the good of everyone else so that they shouldn’t have to.
  • The Masked Singer: One show in and I discovered something, just PVR it, zap through the first 55 minutes and then the 3 minutes of the “Take it off” chant, and you know who it is. Ta-Dah!
  • Sports Bloopers: I’m officially bloopered out. And great plays out.
  • When will they start airing old games? Oh, there they are…
  • Goldmining shows: I keep watching these and keep getting angry. The things that go wrong shouldn’t go wrong if they knew what they were doing. I can see things they shouldn’t have done. How can you let your water supply go dry/muddy when it’s the lifeblood of your plant…? (I know, if nothing went awry no one would watch)

And finally:

  • Infomercials: No I haven’t got to this point yet, but a Flow-bee would come in handy.

If I missed anything let me know. Happy viewing!

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C’mon, space stuff!

Leon Stevens is a blogger, composer, artist, and an author of three books (so far): Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures, Journeys: Eight Original Pieces for Classical Guitar and The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories.

Categories
humor

Decisions, decisions

I went to pick up shampoo the other day. The questions needed to complete this task came at me fast and furious:

Is my hair fine? Sure, I guess it’s doing OK.

Dry & damaged? Isn’t everyone’s?

Needing of fuller body? Maybe.

Fizz control? Shoudn’t have used the last one.

Do I want conditioning? Yes. I suppose.

In need of a silky sheen? Does it ever!

Dandruff? Who am I, my dad?

How much grey hair am I getting? (Oh yeah. Gonna be just like my dad)

Does it have cracked and split ends? How should I know?

How long have I been standing here? Hey, look! This one is cheaper. Now just to quickly grab a tube of toothpaste.

Wait. What the…!?

-Leon


Leon Stevens is a blogger, composer, artist, and an author of three books (so far): Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures, Journeys: Eight Original Pieces for Classical Guitar and The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories.

Categories
cartoons humor

Weird Wednesday: April 21

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It’s not called Weird Wednesday for nothin’.

The Miniscules:

OK. Now to write another poem…

-Leon


Last day:

Categories
humor poetry readers writers

Weekend Wrap-up: April 17

Wow. Sixteen poems so far. Has it been difficult? Yes and no. Sometimes the prompts from NaPoWriMo seem a bit too specific, but they are just suggestions and I have taken some liberties with them. A few of them I knocked out fairly quick, most took a bit of brainwork.

Here are the first 2 weeks. If you have a moment you can read them on Medium or on my Poem Page: National Poetry Writing Month

NaPoWriMo : Day 7 – Poem with strict syllables 😀
NaPoWriMo : Day 6 – Poem based on line from a book 🤔

NaPoWriMo : Day 5 – Imitation 🤔
NaPoWriMo : Day 4 – Odd transitional spaces (think Escher)  🤔
NaPoWriMo : Day 3 – Use of random words to inspire 🤔
NaPoWriMo : Day 2 – The road not taken 🤔
NaPoWriMo : Day 1 – April fools 😀

NaPoWriMo: Day 14 Name Origins 😀
NaPoWriMo: Day 13 A news story you wish to see 😀🤔
NaPoWriMo: Day 12 Past and Future 😀🤔
NaPoWriMo: Day 11 Letter from the Cat 😀
NaPoWriMo Day 10: Junk Drawers 😀🤔
NaPoWriMo Day 9: A to-do list 😀
NaPoWriMo Day 8: A monologue from a deceased person 🤔

As for regular posts:

Sunday Catch-up: Tools of the Trade – My tool/injury escapade (Yes, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.)

Weird Wednesday: It’s Been Awhile – Yes! Weird Wednesday returned.

Oops, I Did it Again: Author Interview – Another self interview. This time for Lunarian Press

Book news: If you have been reading my posts this week you will know about my book sale. If you haven’t heard:

Two weeks left to get your copy of Lines by Leon!

Click to go to my book page

Notable Posts this week:

Story Info: How Much is Too Much? – Kinda why I mostly write short stories

Writing the short story part 3: extremely short fiction – Sensing a theme?

Alright. Now to write another poem…



Leon Stevens is a blogger, composer, artist, and an author of three books (so far): Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures, Journeys: Eight Original Pieces for Classical Guitar and The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories.

Free samples? You bet!

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Categories
cartoons humor

Weird Wednesday: It’s Been Awhile

Writing a poem a day is exhausting. So I figured it was time to do some catching up.

Here is the seventh and final (maybe) installment of The Untitled – Hide and Seek theme:

Here are the first six in case you missed them:

My newest weird idea:

The Miniscules: a few that I have missed posting here:

OK. Now to write another poem…

-Leon


Categories
humor thoughts

Sunday Catch-up: Tools of the Trade

(Note: Second Chance Sunday has been pre-empted. I wrote this earlier in the week, but had a few other things to post as well.)

Building stuff, power tools, grease, and sawdust. You either love all that, or you know someone who does (and will do that stuff for you). In the 90s, the T.V. show Home Improvement, with comedian Tim Allen, poked fun at how males love and act around their “toys”.

I finally decided that my 30+year old cordless drill (handed down from my father – who has built all four of his houses by the way) needed to be replaced. It had a good run, but it was clunky, the batteries never held a charge for long, and was loose in all the wrong places.

I dislike spending money, so it took me awhile to come to that conclusion. The next decision was what brand. I don’t need the most expensive, fanciest, decked out tool, but as I stared at the choices I realized that this purchase was going to catapult me into a tool clique.

Was I going to join the Milwaukee clan, the Bocsh family, the Black and Decker group, the Dewalt crowd, or that other yellow brand (I think it was yellow, but it was another brand* I forgot).

If you have never been faced with this, let me explain. If you are going cordless, once you buy into one brand, you might as well keep going for the one reason of having one type of battery pack. Two different tools, two sets of batteries and chargers. Three different brands – well you get the picture. Only if you really, really like another offering over your own preference, then you may be willing to put up with more stuff in the toolbox.

Just as there are people who will be brand loyal no matter what (truck owners, beer drinkers, etc.), there are the aforementioned tool cults. So, I made my purchase and preceded to put it into action.

Did you ever injure yourself while working with tools? (Do you see where this is going? For the squemish people, not to worry, no details are forthcoming)

No matter how careful or how aware of your surroundings you think you are, s#@* happens. What gets the brunt of the injuries? You guessed it: hands and fingers. As you have figured it out, I still have all my digits. But over the years, my hands have had their share of abuse.

Hey! You’re a guitar player. Arn’t you worried? I hear you say. Yes, those are tools as well, and I have gone through times that I wasn’t able to play due to cuts, briuses, or broken bones, not all from construction. I broke my collarbone playing baseball, hurt my elbow falling off my bike, and various cuts from my kitchen knife. You can’t protect yourself from everything, right?

This time it was the left thumb. As thumbs go for me, that was the one to injure. It still doesn’t make doing most things (tieing shoes, driving, making dinner) any easier, but I’ll be playing sooner.

I know one thing for sure – I miss my opposable thumb.

*Updated May 8: Makita! And it’s blue – not yellow…


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Categories
humor poetry readers writers

Weekend Wrap-up: April 10

What the heck happened to Music Monday? Not finished my composition yet (and I was writing a poem). What the heck happened to Tuesday Thoughts? I had a post ready but I was writing a poem. What the heck happened to Weird Wednesday? Ok you get the idea. so let’s catch up:

Book news: I decided on a new cover design for my book, The Knot at the End of the Rope. I’m pleased at how it turned out. I was going for a 50s/60s sci-fi vibe, and I think I nailed it.

Look for a $0.99 sale April 15

Nine days of poems (not counting today). You can catch up with them all here: National Poetry Writing Month

Free Book Friday (and Book News): April 9 – A few new free book promos

Notable Posts this week:

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Not just notable because I’m in it, but because Sally always uses her platform to promote worthy authors. I’m glad to be a part of it. Thanks, Sally!

What exactly is love? – A short post but Shruba tackles a subject for the ages

Where Do the Good Times Go? – This one brought back memories.  

Alright. Now to write another poem…



Leon Stevens is a blogger, composer, artist, and an author of three books (so far): Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures, Journeys: Eight Original Pieces for Classical Guitar and The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories.

Free samples? You bet!

Sign up for my newsletter and receive a free eBook of your choice.

Oh, pick me!
C’mon, space stuff!
Categories
humor

Second Chance Sunday: Interviews

How do I choose the second chancers? Small number of views, mostly. Sometimes, I’ll read a post and revise it slightly or fix broken links.

I wrote two interviews of me interviewing me. I thought they were amusing (and I do like to make people laugh), so when I found the site Soundcloud, I decided to record the audio for the transcript. I did a few more self-interviews for a few other blogs I put three of them all on one page with audio links. I thought I had them working but my Anchor.fr link wouldn’t play the first one, so I went back to my Soundcloud for that one. I have another coming out for Lunarian Press soon.

So, without further delay, head on over for what I hope you will find an entertaining and unique approach to “the interview”.

Leon Stevens Interviews Himself

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Categories
humor

Second Chance Sunday: March 28

Today’s serving is originally from my very first website/blog. I was new at everything, so many of the posts were short, and I seemed to always come up with a amusing survey to end each of them. I believe that this one was inspired by a Goodreads thread. Enjoy!

Reading: Paper or eBook

-If you haven’t already, please visit: Book Covers Part 3: The Finalists to vote for my new book cover.


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C’mon, space stuff!