Tuesday Tirade: Winter and Cereal

I had a cereal topic written for this morning, but then the local weather person mentioned that it is the shortest day of the year. Great. Which means it will be the longest night of the year. Just as well because it feels like it has been the longest year of the year.

They also said it is the first day of winter. Wait. What!?

So you are telling me that the last month of this:

was fall?

OK. Back to the original topic:

Cereal. It’s good. I often eat it for a snack. But c’mon Big Cereal, can’t you at least make the bag easy to open? Ever hear of Ziploc? And maybe make the Puffed Wheat a little denser so it doesn’t fly out of the bowl when you pour in the milk.*

Oh, by the way, when the picture on the front shows a bowl of your product with milk in it, and you say that is the serving suggestion—we know. That’s why we buy cereal.**

Hey wait! Yeah you, generic brands. You ain’t fooling anyone with your similar names. We know who you are copying, Oatie O’s, Crispy Ricelettes, Flakes O’ Corn, Lieutenant Crunch, Lucky Treasures.

Why are you so sweet? I walked through your aisle*** and there were still signs denoting kid’s cereal—and they were all the sugary kind. I though we had done away with that sales method. And why are your mazes and word jumbles so easy? Help Molly Mouse find the cheese? It’s right there!

Nutritional labels: You put two columns, one for the cereal alone, the other with milk. Who eats a bowl of dry cereal? Maybe if you put a picture of the cereal in a bowl of milk . . .


P.S. A good winter cereal is oatmeal.

*Yeah. I eat Puffed Wheat. Those little unsweetened, styrofoamy ovoids.
** And sometimes mixing it with melted marshmallows to make a tasty square.
*** Side note: I spelled this on the first try.

Leon Stevens is a blogger, composer, artist, and an author of four books (so far): Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and PicturesJourneys: Eight Original Pieces for Classical Guitar, The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories, and The View from Here, his first science fiction novella.

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One thought on “Tuesday Tirade: Winter and Cereal

  1. Pingback: Weekend Wrap-up Dec 25 | Lines by Leon

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